Love them as well as you can while they're here.

12 years ago, I was in an animal shelter looking for a buddy for my other dog. While I was looking in the little pen where the wee dogs were, somebody brought in a little black and white rat dog.

He was scrawny with wonky eyes and an endearing Holstein coat that included a heart shape. He was being returned by a family who said he didn't bark enough.

I named him Putney Swope after the movie because he was a funny little guy and that movie had just made me laugh hard. I had originally thought of naming him Parcifal after a story in a Robert Anton Wilson book I was reading. Parcifal was a Sufi clown who taught people by making them laugh. That name didn't stick because not everybody has a sense of cosmic humor. Robert Anton Wilson died in 2007 on January 11th. And today, I am sad to report, so did little Putney.

By the way, he barked just fine. He had a penchant for inconvenient urination, but an absolutely adorable howl. He couldn't decide if he wanted to be inside or out for hours at a time. He used to push me right out of bed an inch at a time. He ate cat poop when I had cats and his breath smelled like a graveyard. I loved him despite all this. To be fair I was not the caretaker I might have been as often as I'd like to have been.

He had most of his teeth out and he went blind and he got diabetes and got dropped a bunch of weight. He was a ghost. I got the insulin and got pretty good at shots and he put the pounds back on. He howled again and he cussed out the garbage truck and he gave me his gross little kisses and I was happy to see him reanimated. I got hopeful and vowed to make up for being a lazy dog-dad.

And he died anyway because bad and unfair things happen to everybody despite intentions, and I would trade a year of my life to give another to him but there's nowhere to file the damn paperwork.

I miss the sweet little bastard. He couldn't hear me when I apologized with snot all over my face and a shaking voice for not being there at the last moment or making his world a little safer or trying harder a lot earlier. He couldn't feel me hugging him. He wasn't there anymore.

I don't know how you feel about heaven for people but there sure better be one for dogs. If there's not one when I get to wherever you go when you die, I'll build it. Because dogs get a really bad rap but they all earn their way into Paradise for putting up with us for so many thousands of years.

What can I say, Putney Swope? Goodnight and better luck next time, little dude. I'd do it again, and a lot better, and I loved you more than might have been obvious and I'm truly sorry that the end comes to everyone and everything.

I'm gonna choose to believe dog heaven is already there, and I hope he's full of treats and whizzing on the furniture of a much better world.

Putney Alan Swope

Putney Alan Swope

Hi, How Are You?

How many times a day do we hear, ask and reply to this on autopilot? 

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Hardly anyone actually answers this question. If we felt free to, many of us might answer something akin to:

"I am weary of the human game in which we each forsake our inner truth and deny our inner pain for ease of social interaction because we're all to some degree fascinated by and terrified of each other.

I am starved for a sense of community and fearful that I may not be anything but self-reinforcing hallucinations swirling around the drain of mass culture. I feel the echo of impending mass extinction in the aches and pains of this body and the gravity of this world makes tiny cracks in my spirit.

I cry out for some company in this howling void of illusion. Please see me and accept me as the flawed being in search of love that I am, that the seeds of my being may grow rather than continue to wait out the winter in their psychological hulls."

But that doesn't roll off the tongue at dinner. So we say, "I'm fine," and immediately pass the hot potato with, "How are you?" And so it goes.

Society is a coping mechanism and it isn't one size fits all. Much of what most of us do and say are placeholders for real interaction, born of habit as we try to fit the mold.

Did we ever really know anyone? How much have horror have we unleashed, how much pain have we ignored, and how much have we lost by being cowardly and polite instead of simply truthful? 

This is not to say we shouldn't keep checking in with each other. If we ask, "how are you?" with an open heart, those we encounter may sense a space in which to finally answer. In the meantime there will still be dozens of automatic surface-only interactions a day, but there is room there for kindness in the space within the hollow words. Most communication is nonverbal anyway. You can use the tired old dialogue to imply a deeper story if you talk with your eyes and from your heart. 

In short, it's ok to play the game until we're ready for what lies beneath it, but we have to be kind to the other players in the meantime. We have to stop treating other people's pain as a threat to our serenity.

Let's give each other permission to hurt. Without that, none of the wounds of our species can ever heal, much less escape the gravity well of willful delusion. Until we learn to open that space for each other, we should practice on ourselves. 

So how are you? You don't have to tell me. But tell yourself. 

Are We All Out of Bubblegum Yet?

 

John Carpenter’s They Live is brilliant commentary too often dismissed as a piece of camp due to its leading man being plucked from the world of professional wrestling. Indeed, with classic lines like "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum," Roddy Piper did a great job of making us laugh so that the message behind the plot sinks in. I believe it is one of many films trying to nudge The Sleeper before the house burns down. To keep it very brief, the plot unfolds like so: Man loses job, man finds box of sunglasses in the trash, man puts them on and has his paradigm inverted by being overwhelmed by sudden evidence of a parallel world where predators are masked within the visual spectrum, man strikes back.

As you do.

More detail is in order, so spoilers follow.

Piper's character is "Nada," an everyman who is nothing/no one and therefore potentially anything/anyone. He drifts from town to town, collateral damage of the 80s recession which never really ended, and lands a job in Los Angeles digging ditches, appropriately enough. He's happy to have honest work, and still "believes in America" despite recovering from the reaming Reaganomics has given him of late. At the shelter he spends his nights, other transients stare into a TV that holds the space a campfire might have been. The insipid programming is interrupted by a hacker who struggles to suppress the main signal while attempting a wake-up call. This gives everyone an instant migraine and they resent him for it.

Nada notices commotion at the adjacent church, including flyby from a mysterious helicopter. He drops hints, gets the cold shoulder, and breaks in to satisfy his curiosity. He finds a secret room with what looks like a junior meth lab with a tape loop of hymns playing over loudspeakers. He scarcely has time to question all this before hearing arguments on the other side of the wall and sneaking back out. The police arrive to finish what the chopper started.  Nada finds the trap door again. Inside is a box of sunglasses rather than the stash of drugs he expected to find. Baffled, he wanders off.

Once outside with shades donned, he's hit in the face and punched in the gut by the world that was always there, just out of sight. Rather than blocking sunlight, these "Hofmann lenses" pierce the veil draped over a stark occulted reality. Our bespectacled hero can now see the subliminal control grid laid over everything, and he can see the awful faces of a race of humanoids (called "Owners" by the preacher from the shelter) who have nested their world within ours, using power structures we consider our own to hide in sight and use us as cattle. A small band of resistance fighters hacks the TV signal to blast out spurts of warning and has secret meetings to spread awareness. They are discredited by the complicit corporate media and stalked by the pet police, who know them as terrorists and strike at them with orgiastic fervor. Flying drones, invisible to most, spy from above with weapons at the ready. I suppose this is all sounding a little too familiar by now.

The Owners (referred to as Fascinators in the original short story by Ray Nelson) have built a perfect prison for humanity, with the bars being installed within the mind rather than around the body. Billboards and magazine racks howl commands in stark bold print. TV oozes saccharin lures of magic products and brain-numbing political speeches. Even the traffic lights try to inspire drowsiness. Every media message is a behavioral program, every fad designed to distance people from each other and make them ever more shallow. The masses toil and burn out like cheap Christmas lights, chasing the carrot and dodging the stick. Meanwhile the monsters feed off human fears and lusts, making deals with the willing and disposing of resistance to their "multidimensional expansion" while keeping the majority in the dull thrall of consumption and materialism. They Live is fiction, but not far off the mark.

In his shock at all this, Nada goes a bit mad and has a bout of sketchy behavior ranging from tries to get his co-worker Frank to try on the glasses but he adamantly refuses. Being a "minority," Frank is already dealing with living in one world under the heel of another. Being a family man, he must protect his loved ones by "walking a white line" (telling language indeed) to stay out of trouble. He can't afford to ask these questions, as so many people can't. He is just trying to survive. He doesn’t want to know, but Nada won’t let him walk away. A now-infamous street fight ensues, and the men incapacitate each other. The clash of paradigms takes quite a toll on their bodies. When both men are exhausted, Frank finally accepts the glasses and both can now see. They have initiated each other into a brotherhood of two.

After a much needed beer and a night of pondering how long this has gone on and what's next, Frank and Nada team up to investigate how far the rabbit hole goes, and deep it goes indeed. They regroup with the resistance and escape through good luck into a portal as sole survivors of a "scorched Earth" level raid. They explore the subterranean compound where the Owners collude with the one-percenters who've sold out their species for cash and power, and are newly inspired to carry on the work of their dead comrades. They make their way to the roof of Cable 54 to destroy the transmitter which broadcasts the control signal, and while both perish in the effort, they succeed in revealing the truth to a staggered world just before control is absolute. Nada dies with a raised middle finger.  

They Live was timely but also timeless. The dialogue ranges from cheesecake puns to poignant wisdom and the points between the lines are well-made. The imagery is iconic, kept in the zeitgeist by Shepard Fairey's Obey line and a wonderful series by Hal Hefner. Twenty-eight years on, the film has shown itself to be unfortunately prescient, like many John Carpenter films. It has deep resonance with myths and history alike, from the Matrix-like revelations of the Gnostics to the current American creep from chickenhawk oligarchy in democracy-drag to shameless corporate fascism.

They Live is not just a spot-on portrayal of cultural mesmerism and the way it enslaves and destroys us. It doesn't just remind us how quick we are to sell ourselves and each other for a piece of imagined ease. It’s also an excellent demonstration of the way that first bit of truth finds its way into the cracks in our delusions. We hear the earnest admonitions of those who can see all the time, but dismiss them as "conspiracy theorists," not realizing the term is not only meaningless but misleading and tool of our parasitic manipulators.

Then one day, we stumble upon it in a way that cannot be denied, and it shocks us. It even hurts a bit until we see it in the greater context. We feel compelled to share it, but when we try we look crazy because we’re off script. People resist, perhaps even violently. With persistence we win over a few and work with them to spread truth to those with eyes to see and ears to hear, but in the end people don’t open up to shifts in consciousness until they’re ready.

The way things are going, those who've always smelled a rat are watching the Doomsday Clock and hoping against hope for some undeniable revelation to come and knock sense into the world at large. In the meantime, it's frustrating. The water's getting hot and the frog won't jump. People don’t want to “put on the glasses.” We're terrified of what we might see or have to accept. We don’t even really know how to talk to each other. We’ve grown accustomed to talking without communicating. Nobody really cares about the weather unless it’s dangerous. Hardly anyone gives an honest damn about television or sports or politics. Yet this is what we talk about, this is how we fill the moments and spend all the chances we have to connect.

We compare notes on our distractions instead of telling stories of our adventures. When we do allow ourselves to have a good conversation, it’s like having a luxurious meal after being at the brink of starvation. We’re missing something, and we know it. Even from the safety of the screen, social media explodes daily with utter drivel and we toss it around like a ball trying to outdo each other in our performances. The computing power of a planet is available and we use it to distract ourselves from being alive, waiting for the next generation to disarm the bombs. Another spoiler alert: they never seem to get around to it.

Foreknowledge of mortality and finding ourselves in the grip of sociopaths makes us do a lot of questionable things. I don't exactly condemn us for putting on these performances, though I do insist that we recognize we’re doing it and explore the reasons why.  It’s awful to contemplate the raw uncertainty underneath all this well-meaning artifice. At some buried level, the fear of silence is the fear of death. The mystery is painful until we embrace it. They say the truth hurts, but I propose that it’s the resistance to truth that causes the pain we shrink from. We seek solace from these fundamental questions in whatever answers we can find, and this opens us up to being manipulated at every level if we aren’t mindful. Present a ready-made belief system complete with behavior codes and most people will eat it up like chocolate fried in butter, but that isn’t food.

You and I probably aren't going to stumble upon a pair of Ray-Bans that double as bullshit detectors, but we can work on our inner Nada until we too can see. Along the way it's good to keep our inner Frank there to kick our asses when we need grounding. The antidote to the meme magick of The Con is con-text. You need the pieces to solve the puzzle. Once we understand how something has been used to wall us in, we can wield it to break out. To borrow a line from Ray Nelson's story, "It has to believe it can master me to do it. The slightest hint of fear on its part and the power to hypnotize is lost.”

 

Thus begins a little pet project of mine called Put On the Glasses, in which I will do my level best to decode and present the nuggets of truth that have always been buried in fiction for safety. I have begun it here, with this post, but hope to make the jump to video when the opportunity arises. In the meantime, for a crash course in what I like to call The Verbal Hologram, check out The Century of the Self, and definitely go find a copy of They Live if you haven't seen it! (There are rumors of a remake. I will reserve judgment and venom for now.)

Update: There will be stickers. 

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There are no free lunches and no rubber bullets.

In a study of 90 patients struck by "rubber bullets," 2 died, 18 were crippled, 44 were hospitalized and 26 were merely cured of believing in a benevolent Government.

One of the tricks employed in modern propaganda is to put a seemingly innocent word in front of a clearly ominous word in order to disarm it. Prime example: the "rubber bullets" now being fired at those resisting the construction of the North Dakota Access Pipeline.

Let's break this down. We associate rubber with toys, balls, bands, erasers, condoms, and say, headphone cables. Just about zero percent association with harm, death, or threat thereof. We associate bullets just about 100 percent  with harm, death, or threat thereof. Split the difference and you'll see what this phrase does to deceive the public about the threat of "less-lethal" rounds (once called nonlethal until an awkward amount of people died).

The effect for most folks is the perception that rubber bullets are probably kind of like paintballs: obnoxious but not like, evil. In fact, they are most often solid steel spheres or hollow metal cylinders, with a covering of rubber. Like most things these days, only the surface is referred to. 

The perception of potential harm goes down in direct proportion to how much empathy one feels with those being shot at, and the media machine serves well to minimize this through spin and silence.

They can't get away with openly labeling the Water Protectors as "ornery Injuns keeping 'Merican oil hostage," as much as they'd love to do that and please their owners, so they do what they always do in these situations: they play dumb.

These days protests are not spoken of at all until there is video of violence (often provoked by police or other agents provacateur) that can be spun into a narrative that justifies the inevitable bringing down of the hammer. 

It should be noted that while the police-turned-terrorists who strike from within armored tanks are employing everything from these rounds to high pressure hoses in freezing weather, sonic cannons and grenades that have maimed at least one protector, language itself is fast becoming the ultimate weapon in the struggle between sane sovereignty and psychic slavery. Realize now that all journalism has an agenda and look for yourself. Discern the truth, decode the spells, divest from the lies, and learn to duck, because they bought a lot of bullets.

As long as we treat them like masters, we give them permission to treat us as slaves.

They won't re-count the votes. They won't read the petitions. If you write them, you'll get a form letter. If you call, you'll be on hold while interns pretend they're busy. They'll laugh all the way to the Fourth Reich and the Third World War.

They have and will switch off hashtags and subreddits and FB trends that mess with their death grips on The Story. They will continue to skew search results and send you to Snopes anytime you hesitate to join in the chant. Your outrage is their entertainment and your despair is the butter on their toast. Don't wait for the big stories to break. The press is a corpse that dances when the right buttons are pushed. Control of the narrative is the main organ of coercion. They save money on ammunition that way.

They will put people in power that will keep them in power. They will send the muscle to beat down resistance. They will lay the pipelines and frack every inch of the world they don't live in. They will do unspeakable things with impunity, and use our money to do it all behind the veil of blind trust and incredulity.

So we have to stop treating them like the bosses, the parents, the gods. We have to remind them who they are. Mosquitos and ticks. Ankle biters. Tapeworms. And we have to remind them who we are: the overwhelming majority.

We have to stop helping them divide us. A lot of what's wrong will just have to go into the grave with the blind and stupid who keep it here, but the rest is down to our choices. How we treat ourselves. How we treat our neighbors, and how often we remember that they're all our neighbors, even the human speedbumps who insist on impeding progress or reversing direction entirely.

I'll leave it to those of you with eyes to see and ears to hear to find your way to do these things. No authority is higher than the will of your heart. I'll see you in the future, where we belong. Let's laugh these ideological ghosts out of the house, and stake the vampire institutions when we must.

New podcast! Finding your true Voice with SORNE

After a considerable hiatus, Beating a Pale Horse returns triumphant! With me this time is Morgan Sorne, a multi-dimensional artist working in color, story, and voice. As SORNE, he has produced an amazing catalog of transcendental music ranging from opera to "space folk" and genres unnamed, singing in a stunning 5 octaves and weaving worlds between your ears.

 

SORNE was here in Tucson performing in the All Souls Procession, and I was fortunate to interview him at legendary gallery and venue Solar Culture. He has been a mentor to me and it was an honor to have him as a guest. Enjoy the program, and take us up on our invitation to find your voice! We need it more than ever.

And here is the video for the song which closes the episode:

Piercing the Veil and seeking the Grail

Quite a show, this time around.

We've watched dark mud and dried blood slide right off the backs of both major parties. We've watched the cash-collared media work both sides, keeping the story artificially small. We've seen alternative voices and candidates marginalized and edited out of this movie. Whispers of those deleted scenes are drowned out by the din of consensus in a desperate shot at maintaining a sense of control. We've been worn down enough to play ball against ourselves.

Since the first hominid picked up the first bone club, a certain kind of person has always sought dominion through force, and a certain kind of person has always sought control through deception. Morality is an option to that subset of our species. We forget that we are the vast majority, not this sliver of sociopaths that weave their webs around us.

There will always be those among us who see past the Hologram and work for change. Some will be cut down. Some will be corrupted and absorbed. Some will just get tired, for it is exhausting to be shown again and again that there no limit to depravity, no level of horror impossible.

But this is not the whole picture, just the crude oil on the surface of the deep green sea. We must remember that there is also no limit to kindness. In our Great Game, people take on the character that calls to them, either dragging down others for power or lifting up others for its own sake. And here we all are to play our parts.

As in all things, the difference is choice. Personal choice, based on one's own direct experience and the wisdom that comes from mistakes as well as success. Hivemind is great for building fortresses and invasions, but we are not here to mimic the ants.

As the next sticker coming out from Apocalypse Fatigue will say, "No masters' voices, just true will and choices." But for today, vote with your conscience, whatever that means to you. May you meet no obstacle and no adversary.

Today and all days, choose love over fear whenever you can. The greatest good for the greatest number, where possible. More options and opportunity. Incremental positive change. Rome was not built in a day, and it won't be taken apart in a day.

I have temporarily overcome my disgust and voted because the local ballot initiatives may help others, but it is only one small act. Enjoy the dopamine but understand that The Work is bigger. It is not enough to rise from the grave every four years and enable a ruling class. Vote, and then keep going. Keep your ear to the ground to hear the music beneath the noise. Flip over rocks to find hidden truths and act on them when called. Lift up your neighbors and we will all rise above the pyramid schemes.

Acknowledge the darkness, but bring a candle to your corner. Make great art, tell your story and support others who do the same. We can only build a better world from inside out. Whatever happens today, the real game is yours to play. 

Continue?

When the engine won't start

(Continued from last post)

But sometimes you don't get ideal sleep. Sometimes there's construction next door. Sometimes you snore like a demon with asthma. Sometimes there's a draft. Sometimes your mind won't release you until your body collapses. Sometimes you just had gas. These things happen. How to get back to a decent baseline? Well you can try this. It worked for me today.

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5-5-5: We'll cycle through the triangle above, counter clockwise first to banish the haze. 

5 minutes to Lubricate:

I like to hydrate as I caffeinate since the latter can steal from the former, so I started today off by sipping coffee and water for balance. If you like, raise the mug to the Sun and thank the anonymous lovely people who make it possible in what you hope the package says is true about decent working conditions). This just works better than chugging and it builds in a little period of phasing into day life. When my coffee and water took today, my little brain cloud lifted and I knew I would write something.

5 minutes to Activate:

I'm just barely learning yoga but my wife is kind enough to teach me in baby steps. I resisted, and you may too, but know that even without spiritual decoration it's stretching your body needs and appreciates. I did Sun salutations because we're in California where it doesn't feel like you're being microwaved and I appreciate that., with a little Warrior pose at the end for focus. When I finished yoga, I saw a bee on its back and got it back to higher ground. (This seems to happen here pretty regularly.) I saw the triangle and today's post was almost formed.

5 minutes to Motivate:

Zazen is a 2 dollar word for sitting quietly. Lotus is fun but definitely not necessary. Criss-cross applesauce will do as long as your back is pretty straight and your tailbone isn't squashed. I recommend just counting breath. Pick a number then use it to time this sequence by counts:

1. Inhale fully

2. Hold it

3. Exhale fully

4. Pause empty

A couple of minutes in, this post was clear in my mind. I was more or lessinished meditating when my daughter ran outside and hugged me on my lap. That was lovely. 

Now, after this is done you've spent 15 minutes making the next 15 hours more doable. That's a pretty good return on the investment, wouldn't you say?  If you have time later, try running the sequence clockwise to invoke balance if you start to slip. And like the last post said, repeat as necessary. The power is in getting back to the practice instead of kicking yourself for stopping. 

There's a Zen quote making the rounds you may have heard by master Zen master Lin Chi: "Eat when hungry. Sleep when tired." This is pretty good advice on its own, reminding us that animals have no shame meeting their needs as they arise. When you add the first part, usually left out by squeaky clean instructors with candles and mats for sale, it's a better reflection of our condition. We owe it to ourselves to honor and meet our needs without shame, or as Master Chi said, to "shit, piss, and just be human." 

So if you wake up feeling like handmade turd, have a sense of humor about it, give yourself a break, and play the Triangle of Kindling to warm your engine up so you can do well and be well. I can't promise what will happen to you, but I can say with some confidence that something positive will happen. This is you tuning the part of the day you can control to your pitch instead of trying to keep up with the music that blasts you from passing cars. 

Happy tuning! 

Repeat as necessary

Here's a little secret: Your good day starts the night before. Respect your body and its needs and it will thank you with more optimal function that allows better living.

Intoxication is only slightly younger than our species, so you will find no judgment here if you're getting lit to let some steam out. Have a wonderful time, but respect your body and meet your needs. Eat a real dinner, drink water, and go to bed before you're too tired to think. One day you will start feeling the difference this makes, believe me. Youth is not eternal, but the availability of increased vitality sticks around quite a while if you have the will to invoke it again and again.

Wake up earlier, drink more water, and give yourself 5-15 solid minutes before any duty. Serve yourself first so you may be of use. A lot of you probably have a morning ritual, but this is pre-coffee. Meditation and some kind of exercise are the lattice on which you can grow a better experience. Making the time will pay for itself. It gets better.

Do yoga even if it's one pose you suck at and even if you think it's Starbucks Mall Girl Stuff. That's just the version for sale. The thing itself is older than cities.  I'm still mastering not falling over during Sun Salutaions but thankfully my wife gets me doing it anyway. Actually kinda sucking at it is great because you have to focus to avoid mild injury and "monkey mind" shuts off. Meditate in whatever form you can hang on to long enough for stillness to arrive. It can be as easy as counting breaths. Totally portable and no props.

It's very easy to dismiss these things as privileged fluff, but remember this: we are all warriors in the struggle to break character, individuate, and live. Intelligence and health are swords of the spirit. They must be honed, folded, and sharpened constantly. Ask any athlete or engineer if they went straight to the top of their field and they're likely to tell you that they got to great heights by climbing the hill of bones rising from the mass grave of their failures.

The Verbal Hologram/Mesmermachine won't stop telling you that it can sell you success. It's not there to help you with anything but spending money. You just have to stop listening to its desperate howls and climb at your own pace toward the foothold you desire. Then on to the next, and the next, and so on.

We are either growing or wilting from moment to moment, and the determination to transcend the haze of the Hive is the purest fuel we can burn. To do that, we must forgive ourselves for the neglect and self-abuse that is labeled normal and get back at the controls of the game. The point of finding practices for body and mind is to maintain the means by which you shape reality through choice and action. To be frank, if you treat yourself like shit, your world will swiftly become a latrine.

Self-care is heavily marketed by people who aim to sell you their version, but you can and must define what works for you. Being functional is not a luxury and you don't need special gear or magic phrases or a steady flow of disposable income to ratchet your life up in doable increments. You owe it to yourself to make the time to reboot one of the best computers nature ever developed and to take care of the most adaptable vehicle for this kind of consciousness we are aware of.

I suggest we imagine a world where everyone is doing and giving their best. Will everyone show up at that roll call? I don't expect it. But you can make the shift with minimal effort, so why settle for the standard script when that movie sucks and everybody dies frustrated and sad, soul-first before the body burns up?

I'll pass, and so can you.