A lot of people want to play a game where everything is positive and pleasant. They pretend to have popped into our world fully formed from a perfect land where "everything was beautiful and nothing hurt," to steal from a better author. But there's one little needling problem:
They're full of crap.
Pain is real because experience is real. Crystal humpers that want to be creating reality out of whole cloth with their daydreams are half right because you always get to govern your own interpretation/perception/reaction but since they usually just pretend they're wizards or faeries or unicorn trainers, it doesn't work and they go to a new cult.
The true oneness of interdependent phenomena (with strong evidence of overarching organization and intelligence of some sort, be it deity or emergent property) is not what people are usually talking about. It's a few layers beneath the veneer of psychedelic t shirts and ripoffs of indigenous rituals. The fake oneness is idolatry because in order to inflate the ego (by pretending to dissolve it) it denies intelligence/harmony beyond the self.
The personal self is real, though much of its visible aspect is propped up by patterns and postures. The larger oneness is real. It's possible to be both at once without being crazy or obnoxious. It's just a bit harder and about a hundred percent more worth the time. What I like about it best though is that it can be done quietly.