A peek behind the curtain

Hello in there.

It seems like a good time to tell you what's happening here. Maybe you've checked the "backstory" page, maybe not. I am being reminded of why I started this project, so I am telling you.

There are damn good reasons why "mental illness" is so common. We live in a world designed to suppress individual power and therefore the very world of each of us. That is not speculation. Rote-memory education, organized religion, mesmeric media, corporate medicine, vampire business and the forces of coercion all play their parts. Happy people create new experience and possibilities. Stressed people consume fantasies and objects to mask their pain. We live in a stress farm.

Control is a fractal fungus with spores all over and if we are not vigilant, we become its tentacles. From an early age, I rejected the grid of arbitrary authority and have always looked to question, subvert and overcome it in my life. It's a daily war, but to fight it is to win it.

I have seen the "throw pills at it" model for treating depression/anxiety fail in my own life and many others and it made me feel helpless until it pissed me off enough to act. I decided to develop a system for tackling this "apocalypse fatigue" from scratch, taking what has worked to take the edge off my own struggle with the above and synthesizing it into a sort of tactical magic.

Anyone can repeat the work of others, but I am not a salesman by trade. I can't recommend, much less insist, any course of self-repair that I haven't observed bearing fruit. If you want the Pollyanna positive thinking approach, there's a section in the bookstore for that. Real love is work, especially self love.

Therefore I am the test case for this system. I am learning how to build it in real time by trial and error, without pharmaceutical or therapeutic assistance. This may be a bit reckless, and I apologize to my loved ones along for the ride, but I believe it's imperative that people like myself who cannot afford or don't get what they need from drugs or counseling be given tools that anyone can use. So here I go.

I am writing a book on all this, on where we are now and how to find the way out, which you can read more about at "The Book" link in the menu. While that's happening, I am doing a few other things here as well because I am like a shark: I must swim or sink.

Also, a podcast called Beating a Pale Horse, in which the focus will be highlighting good works and new ideas. Beating the specter of death by expanding the palette of life, in other words.

Also, of course, the blog you are reading, where the focus is and will be: 

- Observations on what I call The Con/Death Grid of deception and unnecessary pain behind the scenes. Connecting the dots that show the secret shapes. You can't fight what you can't see.

- Suggestions for bringing and multiplying the light in order to balance out the shadows. Working from the inside out, as I am doing, because I feel that's our best shot at the tangible change that lies beyond cage rattling and mudslinging.

- Trying to find the humor in all this, because laughter is indeed the best medicine, like the tired old waiting room magazines say. As I like to say, in this world it's laughing or crying, and I'm so much more useful when I can do more of the former.

Also: music, which you can find at "The Soundtrack."

Also: stickers, the first of which are landing in mailboxes all over place to remind people of the fact that truth will out and to let strangers know this website exists. There will be more of this design and many more designs as well. In this hypnotic media landscape we can only to fight memes with memes.

I've been shy and private most of my life, and it's finally changing. It's a little daunting to unfold myself in public but this process of self-repair and sharing it with you is my True Will. I must do this or die trying, which means I will do this. 

Thank you for being here. Stay tuned.