politics

A List of Campaign Promises in an Election Year Where There Are a Lot of Bees Around the Pool

Neoconservatives and Neoliberals (in unison with slightly different accents and each with checks from the bee lobby):

We've always had bees in this pool. We will skim off the ones who fall in and drown but you'll have to embrace certain bee-related realities to have a pool.

Far Right: We will drench the yard in DDT until nothing flies within 1000 miles.

Far Left: We will ask the bees nicely to leave.

Green: Do we really need a pool?

Libertarian: Not my yard, not my problem. But by the way,  I happen to own a line of bee-less pools so I can fix this with your support.

Anarchists: We drained the fucking pool and now there are no bees here. You're welcome.

Reality: Colony collapse disorder. Bee presence highly exaggerated.