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A couple of things.

1. Being human is fundamentally uncomfortable. Incredible amounts of energy have been spent masking this from ourselves and each other. But it's there. A lot of it comes from denial of mortality, fear of pain etc. Almost everybody I know went through a period of swinging hard to the other pole, being morbid and self-destructive. Now, this does *not* excuse nihilism. Life is what we make of it, and so is self-image. This is a sort of game, and each of us has a sort of character, and character attributes can be tweaked in real time and indefinitely.

2. You are not *just* the character. You are not *just* the mind imagining the character, or the brain supporting the mind, or the body supporting the brain. There is a part of all of us, usually called spirit, that is so hard to define that thousand year wars are fought over the details. But here's the thing: if you stop listening to the tape loops installed in your survival system by life experience and learn to get very quiet inside, you will hear its voice and recognize its truth. Then, you will know how big you really are.

3. But wait, there's more, because we all have a share of spirit, and all of us connect at a level that is usually intangible. You won't see it much up here on the surface. You've got to go deep, deeper, deepest, until there is nowhere to go because you're everywhere. The surface is where the waves are, and without an anchor you're at their whim. We all have to make contact with the part of ourselves that is beyond the reach of circumstance and use it as a vantage point rather than the frenetic control freaks most of us have at the switchboard.

4. It's hard and it takes time. Yet it's simpler than it seems. When you get it, you'll wonder how it seemed so impossible. You'll lose it but you'll get good at returning to being it instead of chasing it. And don't let anybody sell it to you, because it's free, and your birthright.

5. There are plenty of dark human conspiracies that make the world seem like a meat grinder for souls, but the biggest conspiracy is benevolent. Life/God/spirit can't wait for you to recognize what you are, so it throws you clues, sends helpers, synchronizes events to make you think twice about the status quo script (you know, the meat grinder). Embrace vitality. It's yours when you want it.